i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
