If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is it penis luge time yet?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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