He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
