How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
