You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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