So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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