PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
