why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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