If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
