I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
