i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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