butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
