I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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