Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
