Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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