Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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