It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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