worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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