I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize