he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize