Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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