So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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