Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
