dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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