Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
