never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
