how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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