Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
