I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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