I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
