Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
