even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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