is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize