still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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