i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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