Redeem this text for a blowjob
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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