He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
