i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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