Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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