your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
