It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
