whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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