The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
