just tell him i said nine months
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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