NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
