I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
