im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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