I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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