I hate your face
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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