At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I touched a dick in church today
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
