I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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