I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
did i just pee glitter
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