Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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