i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
