Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
