they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
