Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
