I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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